Today was a great day. Woke up in the morning, picked up one of those huge "supreme" McDonald's breakfasts and did loads of lazing around and watching Modern Family. I treat holidays like unexpected gifts, a time for being lazy and doing what I enjoy. I know, I know, I should be spending more time doing productive things.
I would admit that I have very little self-discipline, especially when it comes to tasks that holds no immediate gratification for me. My writing is good and days and horrendous on others. And most of the time I feel like a fraud passing off as a writer. Sometimes I wonder if I am a fraud just in denial.
I guess having loads of time alone makes you think and reflect about what you are doing and also leaves you pondering the purpose of life and the values and morals that we live our lives by.
Right now? My values include, living life with a purpose, survival and prospering.
And my morals involve giving help to those who need it, but only within what I can give. Which isn't much.
I love and hate fiercely, and sometimes I am loyal to the extent that I will still be even if it is no longer warranted.
I have few friends, but those I keep close to my heart.
Life is a bit to short to flop around with those we don't care for. Life is too short for small talk. Life is too short to cower in fear at oppression.
Over the past year, I have pulled out the weeds in my life that were poisoning my life and my beliefs.

Tonight, as I sit in my newly cleaned room with a mug of tea, a belly full of fried chicken and Norah Jones on the speakers, I would like to say that I am happy. I am content. Not in the sense that I don't want to move forward. But for once I am happy at where I am and what my life stands for now.
Life is no Nintendo game, to quote Eminem. We have only one shot at this. No reboot, no return to saved game.

I just want to make sure I live this life the way I want it to be. According to my terms, and to do things that don't go against what I stand for. Those things may or may not be what society perceive as values. Some of it might even go against the what society perceives to be good.

But like I said, my life, my way. The law is the law, and I respect that. But under that, within that, my life is my own.
I have no idea why I even wrote this post except to release the thoughts that have been held captive for the past week.