Almost two years have passed, and I am not who I was in early 2010. I am much more certain of who I am as a person and what my goals are. I am also sure of what I want and need out of relationship, be it a friendship or otherwise. I have drawn my boundaries. I have set my values and principles. I am more aware of my shortcomings and how I can overcome them. I am more confident with who I am and no longer the girl who was so uncomfortable in her own skin. Nowadays I am more of the “fuck it if anyone is looking at me because I am weird.” than how I was in the past where I am always thinking about how everyone must be thinking ill of me because I am so different.
I am increasingly proud of the person I have become. And I am very vocal about the things I am for or against. That might make me intolerable in some people’s books, but I do know when to dial it down and try not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
It is much better to stand for something that leaves you hated than to go where the wind blows and be sneered at by people like me for your indecision and lack of principles. Yeah, you, who went back to the cult even after we were kicked out? I am talking about you.
I have learnt that blood doesn’t make you family. And that real friends show you your shortcomings and not walk away.
(Oh and not forgetting that people who claim that they are speaking on behalf of god or whichever divine being doesn’t necessarily mean that they are good people. )
I have also learnt that people treat you how you teach them to treat you. If you accept your friend’s excuse for being late for 45 minutes, they wouldn’t think anything of it if it happens again. That is why I make it a point to tell people that I will leave after 15 minutes unless they have a really good excuse involving blood or death or maybe a Snorlax blocking his way and him having to go back home to get a Pokeflute.
I have learnt that if you allow others to walk all over you, they will. I have learnt that if you allow others to cancel plans with you at the last minute, they will do it again. That is why I get really angry at people who whine about how their so-called friends walk all over them when they themselves don’t even speak up when they are upset with being treated shabbily.
If you don’t respect yourself and your own time, no one else will.