Opening A Vein

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.

take a walk

The past week has been a busy one. With school, work and everything else it is a miracle I managed to pull through.

Now that my last exam is over (fingers crossed on the ethics paper), I am looking forward to focusing back on work and my freelance projects, among other things. I want to finish reading all the novels I have left in stacks around my room and think about writing something after such a long time. This 100 day project is my way of easing myself back into things.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the small things and we forget how good we have it already. Could be better, but you can say that in about just any other circumstance.

I am going running tomorrow morning, so there's that. Can't wait!

theres nothing on the TV nothing on the radio that means that much to me

I know I have been skipping out on posting for the past weeks and I have perfect reasons for that. Work and school. It's not as difficult as most of my friends think it is but it also isn't a walk in the park, especially when a big project at work coincides with your exams or a 2,500-word paper.
The past weekend was a fun one, starting with a run on Saturday morning and ending with a nice dinner (Korean friend chicken and beer!) with the gang. And of course it was rounded up with a trip to Kinokuniya (our common love for books brings us together, I feel). I really have fun with them most of the time. They indulge the crazy side of me which is really. Yesterday was Mothers' Day, so I had a lunch with my mum and brother at a neighbouring mall and it was a lot of fun. I like seeing my mum from time to time to catch up and I am glad that she is sort of proud of me now which is something I can't say five years ago. Thanks mum for being awesome and bearing with me for the past few years where I was still trying to find my way.
We had dinner at home, a really casual celebration of my grandma's "birthday". She was born in a time when girls weren't valued, much less celebrated. We don't really know when her birthday is so we celebrate her birthday during Mothers' Day every year.

(Untitled)

I have been through this cycle of perpetual weariness and I think it has to do with the fact that I have fallen into the bad habit of sleeping at 2am again.

I shall be heading to bed by 10.30pm today let's wish me luck

come up for air, come up for air

I've been doing this running thing which I think is giving me crazy ideas of being fit and healthy like I've never been. I think I am at the age where I am beginning to be concerned about how unfit I am which means I might actually burst an artery someday.

My exams are going to be here in less than a week and I am feeling really stressed out about how not stressed out I am about this. Working and studying at the same time is seriously the most tiring thing.

So I escape. I indulge in korean dramas and fantasies of pretty boys and tropes. I indulge in fanfiction because that's all my brain can handle right now.

but you can get back in, you can get back in.

Settling down is something that I associate with giving up. It scares me to think about having a life that is pretty much the same day in day out with no hope for change, no hope for choosing better. Perhaps someday I will feel differently, at least, that's what I am told by many who consider themselves older and wiser than me.

I am still waiting for the day when I will stop feeling this need for excitement. I am still waiting to feel jaded about everything. I am still looking for the next thrill the next experience that will make me feel alive.