I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS
HE IS SO CUTE OMG DEAD
I think I fell in love with Big Bang's music like falling asleep. Slowly and then all at once. Five years ago if anyone asked I could have sworn that I hated KPop. I despised anything to do with it and now that I looked at the old blog post I dedicated to ranting about those ridiculous thoughts and laugh at myself.
22 year old Dinnie must be quite appalled of my sudden obsession with G-Dragon. Honestly, I don't know how this happened. I don't know how I went from this Death Cab listening hipster girl to obsessively watching Big Bang videos (omg 9 years of material!) and putting down a deposits for Korean classes. I would fee embarrassed about developing obsessions at age 27 but who the fuck cares as long as I'm enjoying it and it's not bad for me?
I am so tired of being told what I should or shouldn't be doing. I'm so tired of trying to complete goals that were never my own, trying to impress people who never were that cool anyway. So done.
People told me that my writing will never get me anywhere, and wanting a career in social and digital marketing was a dream. I'm not at the TOP yet but I'm moving up, which is more than I can say for myself 5 years ago.
I was a bigoted, judgemental asshole who liked Ayn Rand a bit too much. I thought everyone was beneath me and I think the breaking point for me over the past year was that I encountered many people who remind me of that phase of my life and how obnoxious I found them. It was like a bulb went over my head and j was like "oh my god is this what I sounded like?"
I'm not perfect. I'm only human. I have my catty moments. I have my idiosyncrasies. All I want to do is to allow others their weaknesses, acknowledge the good fortune I've had and just live my life in a way that makes me happy.
That's all I want.