It might surprise some people that I am actually the source of relationship advice for quite a number of younger female friends. The stories and almost always the same. They meet a guy, had a great time, and they wonder what happened. Or they might be dating someone who is blatantly not right for them and they come to me asking me what they can do to get what they want from the relationship.
Time and time again, I have referred to Greg Behrendt's He's Just Not That Into You. I bought my copy in late 2009 and it has saved me hours and hours of racking my brains for signs of whether or not someone is right. As a single woman who dates, this book will save you the time that would otherwise be wasted on wondering why this guy you like isn't going to call you back. And it is strangely liberating to be able to say "He's really just not that into me." and move on from there. There are many guys who will respect your time. And no matter what you think, someone is going to like you for who you are (whether or not you are attracted to them is another story). I wouldn't waste my time rehashing every bit of the book (you really should buy it) but there are some very basic things I learnt when I was 21 and it has kept me sane in the modern dating world.
- He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out
- He's just not that into you if he's not calling you (or texting/iMessaging/Whatsapping/FB Messaging, whatever.)
- He's just not that into you if he's not dating you
I have been guilty of this in my much younger years and I don't think I am the only one. I will find a guy I really like who displays some small signs of requited attraction and then start building him into a dream guy using the two great qualities he might actually have. And as we all know, people never live up to the versions of themselves that you placed on a pedestal. We begin to give them excuses when they start disappointing us. "He's too busy, he's too overwhelmed with other things in his life. He might have forgotten me." yadayadayda
This book has helped me a lot with cutting my losses and not wasting time, I hope it helps you too.